There’s a certain sort of patriotism you grow up with if you spend your childhood living in countries other than the one you were born in. You can see it in me and my sisters (especially in Amy and I, as Daisy was only 6 when we moved back to the U.K.) Little Ella liked to hate on Britain for being boring, whereas little Amy had a Union Jack bedspread and enjoyed listening to BBC’s Last Night of the Proms CD.
Of course, I also had a lot of patriotism and nostalgia for Britain, this place I had spent the first three years of my life but didn’t remember. We also went back to England every summer - seeing our grandparents and staying at the same cottage in Devon each year. It was so different to what we were used to - clear skies, soft pattering rain rather than a South East Asian downpour and cable TV we could watch without having to download it the night prior on a dodgy (and illegal) forerunner of VPN. I felt (and still feel) a sense of homecoming every time I fly into the U.K. and look down on those little green fields, bordered in by their hedges, spreading out like a big quilt over the land.
I felt a similar sense of excitement on returning to the U.K. last week, after five or so months in the Netherlands, which was the longest I’d been away since moving back to the U.K. Everything was extra beautiful, because of how novel it all was. The Netherlands is also beautiful, but in a different way. Suddenly, I was in a land of hills and big grand trees and little woodlands, rather than the flat, watery, tulip-laden fields of my new home.
Patriotism is a very weird thing - it feels much more natural when absent from a place than when you are there. British patriotism feels especially weird given our history of colonialism and the weird way that our country is constructed - just choosing where you come from on a scroll-down list is complicated: United Kingdom, England, Great Britain or Britain?
But in Leiden I’ve been feeling especially British - because there are so few other Brits about. Being back has also allowed me to see lots of lovely people and do lots of lovely things, which I’ve written about below.
Less than 48 hours in London
First things first, I had a fucking good pint. In the Netherlands, you get ‘biertjes’ which are smaller and pack less of a punch, in my humble opinion. So it was off to the wonderfully-named Owl and Pussycat with Alys and Mizan, where I downed a delicious pint of Beavertown’s Neck Oil (yes I’m a basic bitch let me be).
And with their First Table magic, Alys and Mizan had booked a very good restaurant at 50% off. Brother Marcus in Spitalfields Market is a Greek-inspired place with very good (and very overpriced if you don’t have 50% off) small plates and desserts. The aubergine and the baklava sandwich are particularly good.
Now the next day was my only full day in London, so I had to make use of it. I certainly did as I was out from about 8:30 AM until 11 PM. I broke my fast with a slightly under-flavoured (where were the red onions and capers?) bagel from Brick Lane Beigel Bakery, but you can’t really hate too much as it was £3.50. Next on the itinerary was a bit of culture, which came about in the form of the Sargent & Style exhibition at the Tate Britain.
The Tate Britain is my favourite art museum in London, despite its rather random location compared to other attractions in central London. Its permanent collections are very much to my taste (think lots of women with long hair in nice dresses looking dramatic) and they always have very good temporary exhibitions too (I also saw the Rossetti exhibition here with Ismay).
I didn’t think I was a massive John Singer Sargent fan, although I realised during the exhibition that I sort of was. I mean, he painted all of these paintings, how could I not like him?
After that, I tried and failed to visit Westminster Abbey - which I have never been to! There were simply too many tourists about and so instead I had a little read in St James’s Park and wrote my grandpa a birthday card and felt very proper and British. It was then off north to Finsbury Park to see Jess for a little birthday lunch/brunch, which (on her boss’s recommendation) was at Hiden, a Japanese curry café.
This was a really cool place with a unique (at least to my limited knowledge of Japanese cuisine) menu and a very friendly waiter. Highly recommend.
After that, it was time to do some errands and embrace my capitalist tendencies by visiting Liberty. It’s such a beautiful building and also home to my dream ring, which is very expensive and very stunning and which maybe one day I shall own. I was there for a silly reason, which was to see the clothes they had from Hill House Home, one of the brands I am most obsessed with, who make these nightdress-esque clothes that are very preppy and patterned and beautiful (although they do make some hideous things too). Unfortunately, they had a very limited stock left, although perhaps that’s a good thing because if they had had something I truly loved that might have been bad news for my bank balance.
Anyways, I was in part killing time before my lovely friend from Leiden, Molly, was free to meet up for a pint and dinner. We went to a pub in Soho, The Sun & 13 Cantons, which I love in large part because of its funky name. Anyways, we had a very good catch-up before heading to perhaps my favourite restaurant in London (other than Quo Vadis which is bone-chillingly expensive), Mildred’s in Soho. The restaurant only serves vegan food but honestly do not let this put you off, the food is so, so amazing.
We started with the spiced hummus and parathas for a shared starter and then both had the Korean Kimchi burgers. Everything was insanely good and we left very stuffed and very happy. I went back to Alys and Mizan’s and watched the best moments from the Sex and the City movie (Carrie hitting Big over the head with her bouquet and Charlotte’s waddle, the Brooklyn Bridge reunion, the second proposal and, of course, the courthouse wedding). Mizan also made me watch Charlotte shitting herself in Mexico, because apparently that’s their favourite scene. Hmmm.
Oxford
Well, there’s not much to say other than that I had a very excellent time with lots of people I love and got to catch up with people I hadn’t seen in ages. Prosecco was drunk, botanical gardens were explored and much dancing was had. Thank you to Ismay and her lovely family for organising a very fabulous party.
Cultural Corner
I have just finished reading Jane Eyre - my first re-read since I first read it at the tender age of 10, when I remember being deeply obsessed with Mr Rochester post-fire when he’s still in love with Jane but slightly less of an arrogant prick. I have slightly more measured opinions this time around but I still love the book a lot (despite founding that it dragged at points) - it’s just so intensely dramatic and romantic and sad and religious and beautiful. Here are some of my favourite quotes:
"Do you think I am an automaton? - a machine without feelings?...Do you think, because I am poor, obscure, plain and little, I am soulless and heartless?"
"My future husband was becoming to me my whole world; and more than the world; almost my hope of heaven. He stood between me and every thought of religion, as an eclipse intervenes between man and the broad sun. I could not, in those days, see God for His creature: of whom I had made an idol."
I also watched the 2011 film adaptation of Jane Eyre by Cary Joji Fukunaga, which I really loved. Of course, Mia Wasikowska and Micheal Fassbender are both far too attractive to be cast as their supposedly ugly characters but that’s Hollywood baby. I think the film does a really good job of getting the vibe right and I really appreciated the inclusion of Northern accents, which I think added a lot to the film. At one point during reading the book, I attempted to listen to a free audiobook of it, which was read by an American doing a posh English accent, which I couldn’t listen to more than a chapter of.
I especially love the costumes in the film - they’re plain and stick closely (or at least seem to) to historical accuracy but are still a bit beautiful. They also do Mia Wasikowska’s hair in this very plain way throughout the film, which I think worked for her character perfectly.
I have also been doing some much less highbrow reading of late as I picked up Ali Hazelwood’s latest Not in Love for the train journey back from Oxford (which ended up coming in very handy as I got on the wrong train at Birmingham New Street and ended up spending an hour and a half longer in Birmingham and its suburbs than intended). This is a very trashy and fantastic book so do pick it up if you want a fun time and to turn your brain off a little bit. Ali Hazelwood writes the same book every time (apart from in her supernatural romance Bride) - it’s always about a woman in STEM (often in a low-paying position with little money) dating a tall, nerdy (often richer) man. They usually have some reason for hating each other in the beginning and then fall deeply in love by the end. Absolutely delightful stuff.
Also, I have rediscovered a favourite poem - Peanut Butter by Eileen Myles - which I think will be the poem of my summer, as it contains all I want to do this summer. Swimming naked in ponds, making no money, sex, tea, peanut butter, reading Proust (although I know fuck all about Proust), writing love poems, nature and Sun. It’s lovely.
Anyways, I am now back home and doing very little other than sleeping, going on walks, lying in the garden, re-reading old books and journals and doing some occasional cooking. La dolce vita (until I get bored).
Ella x